My friend Ed tells me things I don't want to hear

I have a very good friend named Ed. Ed is a dick. I know this because he tells me things that I don't want to hear, but are nonetheless true.

This afternoon, while I was waiting for a flight to Tampa, I spoke with Ed. Ed said, "you know your kids are going to see that blog someday....because nothing on the internet goes away." He proceeded to remind me that I'm going to have to explain to my kids why daddy used the word "fuck" a lot.

Fuck. This sucks.

Kids, when you're old enough to use daddy's computer and find "teh internets" -- please -- you have to understand -- daddy has an awful potty mouth because his parents didn't beat him hard enough or often enough. I've learned from my parents failures. I've spent the past however many years from 2008 to whenever you read this blog post learning how to best inflict pain on young children who say bad words. I've also been studying ancient parenting martial arts teaching me how to block out any feelings of sympathy.

So watch your f-ing mouths. And you're grounded for using daddy's computer.